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People write diaries. Their diaries describe their personality. I write on my blog. It describes me way too well. :D
My writing takes me places my mind never wanted to go
Everyone writes. From the ink of their thoughts, by the pen of their mind on the page of their face. Everyone writes.I love to write. It is a passion; a compulsion; something that gives me an avenue to express myself. I write when I am happy; when I am sad or when an issue touches my heart. I find inspiration to write in every aspect of life.
This blog is dedicated to anything and everything that fills my thoughts and occupies cranial space

Monday, December 31, 2012


30th December 2012,
evening while surfing net I received a friend request of a girl with 9 mutual friends...I thought of checking out her profile...the very next moment I enlarged her profile pic...I was jaw dropped...omg...its "HER"..."MY FIRST CRUSH"...!!

Suddenly I went to flashback...Its been almost 13 years but still I remember each and every moment spent with her...I was in 4th standard when I noticed her for the first time...she was my classmate...the most popular girl in our class...she was beautiful and intelligent...I still remember she used to take part in all class activities whether it was ..or public speaking...I was attracted towards her...actually it was a bit more than "SOFT CORNER"...!!

But at that time I was a geek type boy...whose main aim was just to be a good student nothing else...may be that's why she didn't noticed me much...I could feel that somehow...Secretly I did many things for her...I still remember whenever she used to miss her classes due to her co-curricular activitiez it was me who used to give my notes to her...I felt so good when she used to sit with me in the school bus...I still remember I used to hate sitting with any girl in my class but whenever we were seated together I just used to love it and secretly thanked my teacher for that great deed as it used to make my day...there was always a cute smile on my face whenever she was somewhere near...I used to gain her attention by either talking a bit louder or by laughing out loud...I still remember when we were made the class monitors together and I used to stand with her and feel so was the best time ever really...!!

All these things continued when in 5th standard she left school...although she was just a friend but she was the one whom I missed the most and whom I still remember...moments spent in school life were actually the best and the most nostalgic moments which one could cherish throughout their lifetime...I wish I could get hold of time n get my school life back...but since life is all about moving on even I moved on with time and buried all her memories in some corner of my heart but who knew that he would again enter my life...thanks to Mark Zuckerberg for this...!!
First Crush is someone who is one of the most special and unforgetable person in a boy's life...its actually one of the most beautiful experience being a child and feeling for someone...its very cute and sweet at the same time as it is blendid with innocence...because that's the first time when we understand what this feeling of love is...what this feeling of getting attracted towards someone is...its something really close to heart and extremely special...!!
While thousands of things n golden memories were flashing in my mind at that moment...I
simply clicked "ACCEPT" and smiled thinking that life is really beautiful and worth living and cherishing each and every moment...!!
As soon as I clicked accept button, I heard a female voice to wake up its 10 am.
Ahnnn I was dreaming, when I opened my eyes my mom was standing in front of me... my mom appeared to me like a Shiv Sainik catching the unmarried couples on the valentines day and  I was having the same feeling a couple might have at that time.
I wished her good morning.. she leaved the room and I rubbed my eyes and I was still thinking of her
My eyes turned to my laptop lying by my side. I immediately switched it on and logged in my facebook account, because I have heard the early morning dreams always come true and I think 10 am is early morning in last days of december in northern India.
and when my fb opened up it showed 7 notifications...but who care them about now....slightly left 2 new messages.... ahnnn I don't care... little more left... yes there was one friend request.

I was feeling like a king, very happy
My hands got more cold don't know because of the winter or the request

I clicked on the friend request
and the king started feeling a beggar after finding that it is of my neighbor Sharma uncle's son.

Oh! what a waste of excitement....
I didn't liked him from the first time I saw him because he greeted me as uncle the very first time we met, i forgave him somehow that day but from today he is my biggest enemy.
thank God his DP was behind the laptop screen otherwise I would have killed him.

P.S.- A very Happy and Prosperous New Year to all of you. Have a rocking 2013

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Food For Thought

Some people who we know from a long time leaves a great impression on our mind, but sometimes some people who we just know by faces leaves a much deeper impression. Such a deeper impression is left on me by Hemant.

 Hemant is the Manager of a Restaurant in my town.
He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him "how he was doing", he would always reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs, so they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Hemant was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Hemant was always there, telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious. So, one day, while I was having diner in his restaurant with my family,  I went up to Hemant and asked him, "I don't get it! No one can be a positive person all the time. How do you do it?"
Hemant replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today, I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. I always choose to be in a good mood.
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life."
"But it's not always that easy," I protested.
"Yes, it is," Hemant said, Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. It's your choice how you live your life."
Several years later, I heard that Hemant accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in the business: he left the back door of his restaurant open one morning and was robbed by armed men. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Hemant was found quickly and rushed to the hospital. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Hemant was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.
I saw Hemant yesterday about six months after the accident. I thought after suffering so much, his attitude towards life must have changed by now, but, when I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Hemant replied. "Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared?" I asked.
Hemant continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the Emergency Room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me," said Hemant. "She asked if I was allergic to anything." 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead'."
Hemant lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.

I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it.
The only thing that is truly yours --that no one can control or take from you – is your attitude, so if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.

I was wasting my life till yesterday, but when I met Hemant, his positivity amazed me. Its because of him I realized that whats over is over and I must enjoy my life. Future has something definitely better for me.
Life is too short to cry daily, to live in regrets daily, to think about the same thing daily, to disturb the present by worrying about past, to remain tensed all the time.
Life is all about moving on, all about finding happiness in small things, all about treasuring the beautiful people of your life.
May be you should also learn from him and be happy always.
Thanks a lot Hemant.

P.S.- Want to know who is Hemant?? Want to see his photograph? Look within yourself, he must be sitting there, but you need a deeper insight to find him, because your daily worries and regrets have hided him somewhere. Remove all your worries, tensions, regrets and you will find Hemant standing there.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

My Appraisal Letter

How will you react when you find yourself dead in front of your eyes?? How will you react to the situation?? A friend of mine narrated this story to me. Have a look....

December 24th,
Chilly winds blowing all over, a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Central station. At once I held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age.

Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase "The Appraisal Letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck, a black coat stained with blood and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that the he might be a legal executive. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunder broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!!
My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"...  As a fellow employee in the same office, I thought that I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand.  I am sure that the guys heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials Ankit Malhotra. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!!
While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen and keyboard as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man... Come to meeting room. I have your appraisal letter ready there".

Monday, December 24, 2012

But 'I still love you'.......

A story of a complex character (like me) who no longer believes in the magical word "Love", but at the same time loves his ex girlfriend----

Ovi: I miss you.
Rohan: And so?

Ovi: I really did.
Rohan: oK.

Ovi: I’m sorry.
Rohan: What for?

Ovi: For ignoring your efforts to communicate with me.
Rohan: Its OK. I got used to it, thenI got tired, so I stopped trying and started forgetting.

Ovi: I..
Ovi: I…tried to forget about you, you see.
Rohan: ….......

Ovi: Cause it tore me apart that we can never be…
Rohan: its OK.

Ovi: Why is it so OK?
Rohan: I got used to days hoping you’d be back, but then you never did. I started facing reality, and started to get a move on.

Ovi: Wait…am I too late?
Rohan: Too late for what?

Ovi: To court you?
Rohan: You know, I’ve always wanted to hear that from you. Back then, a year ago. But…I got used to only wishing for it..then realized it would never happen, so I stopped hoping.

Ovi: I’m really sorry, but dont worry, this time, I will make your wishes come true.
Rohan: Thats not possible..I have got someone in ma life...

Ovi:Its great for you.. Who is she?
When I'll meet her?
Rohan:She doesn't want to meet you any day.

Ovi:Why? What I have done to her?
Rohan:(slowly replied)- She just don't wanna meet the one who hurted me the most..
Its my turn to say sorry. Time got into me. You’ve broken my heart already. I cant risk experiencing that again. Thank you anyway. For communicating with me after a year of silence ..

She kept her head down and went silently.
After she left, Rohan took out her picture kept in his wallet-
Some tears rolled down when he whispered

-'I still love you'.......
*Out of all the lies you said to me,
Some of them, i would want to keep;
*When you said, you love me and forever will do,
No matter where the situations bring us to;
*When you said, you would always care for me,
For the locks of despair, you would have the key;
*When you said, you would never let my eyes go wet,
Happiness would be around, no tears to shed;

*When you said, you would be always by my side,
No more secrets, nothing to hide;
*When you said, you would always respect my feelings,
Despite of all fights on those silly things;
*When you said, you would never break my trust,
Whatever be the situation, we would adjust;

*When you said, you would spend your future with me,
Marry each other n have a lovely family;
*When you said you would never let me go,
We would be together, whatever situations life may show;
*When you said, you are afraid of losing me,
There will be loneliness, you don't want to feel.

*Now I know that all the promises made were lies,
You entered my life just to break my heart
*Your false love has taught me not to trust anyone,
Now i will fail to believe on word called "LOVE"
But 'I still love you'.......

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Why should I be silent till now???

It was Sunday, I heard that a girl is raped in THE NATIONAL CAPITAL DELHI. I felt very bad and thought that may be the government should now take some hard steps against these criminals, though the government was silent after what happened in haryana a few months before. Like a citizen of democratic country, I trusted my government to the full and waited for the government's reaction.

But when Monday came, i was amazed that government was busy in discussing about the issues of FDI. Next day came and I found that Government found the reservation in promotion of lower castes more important then all the women of my country. I was still waiting that when the most important bill is finally passed may be the government now think of the women. But government was only giving assurances, but was doing nothing except some promises.

I waited till Friday for the government action, but the government was more then busy in doing all the unimportant work and was neglecting the most important task. The government may have forgotten by that time that its no more the issue of the family of the girl who was raped, it is the matter of whole country now. the respect of all the women of my country was at stake now, but why should the government care now?? They are in the power now and are enjoying why should they worry about my wife, sisters and daughters now??

But my patience now exploded and I finally decided to protest against all this. I gathered some of my friends, posted the event on Facebook. I was able to collect a large number of people who still worry and respect about the pride of the women of the country. We all decided to protest peacefully. It was Saturday morning, and was very cold outside. The Sun also didn't wanted to join us in this protest and there was no sun and weather was very foggy. We all very frightened that will more people will join us in this cold weather. Because nobody want to ruin his weekend by joining such protests. And when I finally reached the place from where our protest was to begin, I was shocked to see something strange there. I saw thousands of people were standing there with candles and slogans in their hands. Tears came in my eyes after watching all this. I was sure by this time that now the government will awake by seeing such a large number of people standing together to grant hard punishment to those culprits.

We all started moving on the streets peacefully for supporting our demands. All this reminded me of the protest of "Rang De Basanti" movie. we all moved peacefully on the places. But as its said that what happens in movie sometimes happen in real. The same happened with us. The police tried to stop us. But we all were united for a cause, a cause to give a severe punishment to the people who have done this to my sister. None of us stopped. But what the government led police done was shocking. The whole police tried to stop the protest by showering water on us. May be the government was comfortable with the rape happening on the roads but was not comfortable with the peaceful protests. But even then nobody stopped, and why should anybody stop because the man leading our protest was carrying the famous quote by Christopher Lasch---

"We are all revolutionaries now, addicts of change".

The police then started blowing lathis on the people. Government didnt worried whether a boy or a girl, all were beaten with lathis. Two lathis also hit me, one on my shoulder and one on my back. The government was watching all this like a mute spectator. The women were beaten in the march organized for the safety of the women. What a great show by the government. Even this couldn't stop us because now its the matter of our sisters and friends.

Every possible effort was done by the government to suppress the voice against the wrong. The police also used tear gas to suppress a matter which left the tears  in the eyes of every citizen of the country. Everybody who was watching all this on television was shocked by the reaction of the government. The police was successful in dispersing our protest on the very first day and we all went home.

I felt very disappointed with all this that happened. I reached home, and went straight to my room. I looked at the marks on my body left by the lathis. they were paining a lot but was nothing compared to the pain that girl might have suffered during that incident and even after that even now. I switched on my television and heard that the girl is recovering and gave a very bold statement to the police. This made me forgot all the pain and the tiredness I had after that showers of water and for the protest. I reached for my cell and once again requested to all the people to assemble once again on Sunday and I prayed for that girl

"That you will have to survive. A nation prays for you. Even the Gods won't be able to take you."

We decided that this time we will not be silent, If the police tried to stop us we will give a strong answer to the police. and why should we be silent by now??
Government can easily and quickly pass a law increasing their salaries and other increments then why not a quick law for the safety of the women of the country.
In one country I will not tell u a name. Couple of kids died because their parents left them in a car and they got suffocated. It didn't took government to announce a law within two days. A harsh law that you can not leave kids in the car for a single second. Why it takes India 100 years to give safety to people. But then i thought that in a country where ministers are caught watching porn in the assembly, hope is little. But its there.

Sunday morning came and I left the house and the scene was different today. Yesterday we were youngsters only and today there were many aged people now. We all were happy that some aged people, more experienced than us, spared their Sunday to join us. We started from our place and I heard a female voice "(laughing) nahi bulaayi in logo ne...reporters kahan hain?". I moved towards her. A female, early 30s, expecting, standing at d roadside, munching on bhelpuri, to my surprise, was mocking at the march with her husband. Both were pointing and mocking at random people in the march. I couldn't stop myself, went up to her and said "ye sab isliye ho raha hai ki aap safely is andhere mein ghar pahunch jaaein, aur aapko bachate hue aapke husband duniya se paar na ho jaaein."....i came back, joined the protest, with a thought in mind..."kya aise logon ke liye hum yahan hai...ya inki vajah se".

But what happened afterwards attracted the media also because the police tried to stop us and we didn't stopped. Government has imposed Section 144 immediately so that no more then four people can assemble, but if they cannot protect our women then why should we stop now?? The police blew lathis on us and we finally stopped being peaceful. Gandhi jis call for non violence didn't worked first day, so today we resorted to violence. We attacked the police back. PCR van came to stop us we broke the van. The Police was trying to do the best to stop us, but we decided today we will not go back to home until government do something. Today four lathis hit me but the pain is bearable now. We all said we will not stop. The government requested us to be peaceful but why should we be peaceful by now?? If the government is not doing anything, why should we not ask what is just for us.

We all decided that if the police will do what they were ordered to do. Well then , we should also do what we MUST do. Snatch lathis , the tear gas bombs. Water cannons are useless ; prefer cricket bats / hockey sticks.
If need be , break heads too.
We realize that only reason things go so far was that because we didn't bother to react....until TODAY. The situation has come to the point where we are governed by such people. The police has attacked the male and female protestors too.
I don't think I need to say anything further. Make the police forces run from the very area. If one unit is taught the lesson , the next will tremble with fear and all this is what we have done and finally the government agreed to make an amendment in law soon and may be the capital punishment will be given to them. So finally we realized that when ""Ghee seedhi ungli se na nikle, to ungli tedi karni padti hai"("We will either find a way, or make one!").


P.S.- Who am I?
I am the common man. I am the one who have a mother, a wife, a sister and a daughter. I am the one who was silent when the government increased the price of a gas cylinder, increased the price of petrol every other week. But when the matter came on the respect of my sister, of my wife, of my daughter, of my mother I resorted not to sit silently at home, but to hit the street against the government. Instead of watching Ladies vs. Ricky Bahl which was shown on television on sunday, thought of joining Ladies vs. Indian Govt. everywhere else. Choose a face from those protesting, I am that man, the stupid common man.

God Justice Delivery System

Ahhnn! First of all before starting, I would like to clear that i am not an atheist and at the same time also not a strong follower of GOD. I am lying somewhere in the middle of these two, may be thats the reason I am Confused. I sometimes belives in him and sometimes questions his existence. I sometimes questions myself
Who Is God?

Is God a nice old man in the sky? A cranky being who wants to dish out "justice" on you? Is he like a human father or mother?

We are convinced, from Scripture, that God passionately loves you, even though he knows all the wrong stuff you've done. He wants to spend all eternity with you, and he has already prepared a place at the banquet table for you. He eagerly awaits for his long-lost children to come home, to rejoice in his grace and mercy, to enjoy their place in the family of love and joy.

Sometimes when any wish of mine doesn't gets fulfilled(a genuine wish), I start feeling that there is no God. It is just an illusion in his name. But at the same time then a thought comes in my mind that if there is no God, then why there are so many Temples, Gurudwaras, Mosques and Churches. These are the things you will find for sure whether you are in a village, a town or a big city.

From my childhood, I have heard

Do good, God is Watching.
If you do something wrong, you will be punished.......

Karam Karo, Phal ki Apeksha Mat Karo
(This is the essence of what krishnaji preached in Geeta.our duty is to do our karam with sincerity,honesty and to the best ability and let bhagwanji decide its reward.)

God is looking all the evils and good works you are doing and you will be punished and rewarded accordingly.

As stated ealier, that i am not a strong follower of God, so don't know rest of the preachings.
But is all this true??
Does God really punish for the wrong works we do??

I used to know a person, who every time before doing something, used to think that what I am going to do is right?? Will it be acceptable to God??
But when the same person did something which was more then the word 'WRONG', then that's person attitude changed to that IF he has done anything wrong, then that God will punish him accordingly.

All this forced me to think how the Justice Delivery System of God works??
I consulted two of my close friends
both argued in favor, that God is present and he punishes for all the wrong doing.
One of them said, that God will give you Punishment for your wrong doing, whether in this birth or the next birth.
I wasn't convinced with his answer for some reasons
One obvious reason like God, we are not sure of the reincarnation, so how can we say that.
He gave me some references from Geeta book, but I wasn't convinced at all.
Second reason for my not agreeing with his contention was that all of us believe that JUSTICE DELAYED IS JUSTICE DENIED
and in this case justice is not only delayed but the person to whom injustice was caused will not be in a position to know that whether justice is done to him.

The second friend have somewhat different opinion from the first
He said that all the wrongs you done, you will be punished in this birth only
This statement looked somewhat relaxing to me, but when i applied this statement in real life, again a feeling of confusion and sadness ran through my mind.
Because if God is so powerful then why He doesn't punish the wrongdoer instantly??
The Indian Judiciary system is regarded as a very slow system in providing justice, but why God is taking more time then the this slow system.

The contention of Indian Judicial System can be accepted that the delivery of justice takes a lot of time because it is principle of law that not even a single innocent person should be punished, but why the God Judicial System takes a lot of time, and that too when he is all powerful and knows who is right and who is right.

I have written all this because for the obvious reason, I was amazed to see the persons who never did anything wrong are suffering everyday, because somebody have done wrong to them. I have not seen only one such person and I am writing it here, I have seen many such persons.
And at the same time the persons who have done a lot of wrong to other people or are doing wrong to the other people even now are like the happiest creature of the earth.

Doesn't all this create a feeling in the mind that if we are to be punished in our next birth only, then whats the purpose of doing good??
Just do whatever you want, good or bad, just enjoy your life, you are not sure even that you will be punished or not??

So now I request God to please help me in giving answer to my this question. I am Asking this answer from God because this is the answer i looked for in Google(what I always do when i am in any dilemma), but was unable to find any satifactory response, was unable to find the answer in religious books also(though honestly I didn't consulted many), but seriously want an answer because I can't satisfy myself with do your work and don't expect anything, because when you do something expectations automatically occurs, and that's a normal things in human, may be not normal for a steriotyped person.


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Still Sleeping??? (Delhi Rape Case)

Delhi Rape Case is a common news now. The purpose behind this post is not at all to bore you once again with the facts and with the request of showing sympathy to the family. I decided not to write anything on this, but i was getting many invitations of candle march against the accused and to change the thinking of men, in various cities. This forced me to think that do we still feel this 'Rang De Basanti" step will be of any use now?? Though it helped a lot in granting bail to editors of Zee news, who were detained from a long time, but will it do any good in changing the thinking of those shameless persons who do this??
I seriously don't think so.

Hearing of corruption and all each day didn't bothered me much... But recent rape case, the delhi case make me think again of where am I living... A city Delhi known as dil waalon ki Delhi... India of which we are proud of our sanskriti and respect to others... No not at all... That event was a shocking one...I know this post might sound offensive to a huge number , but its true. I might be banned or removed on grounds of abusing religious communities too......

When I heard about Delhi's recent gang rape case , I felt outraged. I was forced to think once again that India is the name of a land where women are taught to wear clothes sensibly , to maintain distance from other sex , to avoid roaming around after sunset. But men are not taught to respect the women kind. I am living in a civilization full of double standards. To summarize things , we are the only culture that hails women as goddesses in temples. But no one needs to feel proud of that , for that's just till nightfall. After that we want them on our beds.

I believe that you can teach humans through sermons , but not animals. You need to use their language. Simply put , if a woman's honor is beneath her clothes and a man's "prize" rests beneath her legs , then it should be remembered that a man's honor according to "our glorious civilization" is exactly at the same spot. I suggest that the people accused of this gang rape be castrated in open public. So that the whole country knows that these criminals are not eligible for a "marriage" now.

I am not saying anything new or western style here, as a law student i have read Such punishments were used to given in such crimes a long time ago in India... and now a days if you search a little in Google, you will find that in some African tribal regions this 'law' is going on till now..

No amount of body covering will reduce the rape counts...Its not the clothes that is filthy but the mindset of men that is.
And no amount of praying will change it...Sense of respect to be inculcated from childhood and strict actions against such so called males who in truth are eunuchs...Let the coming generation see and live in a safer place

And the rudimentary people who think that this rape was a result of giving excessive freedom to women, then let me correct you This rape was not an outcome of freedom given to women. It was an outcome of irrational amount of freedom to the men that was handled in the wrong sense.This rape seems like a consequence of letting out a few carnivores into the open.

What happens when you unleash a few animals who've starved for flesh since ages onto a pile of meat ?? You don't call the "meat" guilty for being so tempting or attractive or even "tasty"

The way things are going in Delhi, soon Metro will announce, "Agla station hai Molestation.... Sad but true.

We punish people quickly for putting and liking statuses on fb but not for raping
if police are half as quick in chasing criminals as they are in arresting artists under Sec 66A of IT Act, it would be a different india.
Hope i dont get arrested for sayin against that fucking act(irony of india)..

In this country where a terrorist comes and threatens us and kills many people in front of everyone stays like a king in jail who is going to take any step against these idiotic creatures( i wouldn't even call them human)... in 72 hours 3 cases have been registered in delhi itself. one case with 6 year old gal. its a shame on us where we boast about the culture of our country...

These guys bring down the glory of India we are asked to be proud of..

And heights of diplomacy is that even if the women manage to survive post such incident then the same society which is discussing the issue makes it more difficult for them to live with pride they will be punished all life for no fault of them and would not be accepted or respected as bride or daughter in law...she will have to fight even harder for everything and the culprits would be sentenced for few years or with some fine but would lead a normal life...
why always the victim in these cases has to pay the price...
she didnt wanted it in d first place!!!
its the culprits who should be punished and that too in such a way that noone would dare commiting such a crime!!!!!

I , for one person , think - Is it a girl's fault that the stains of the rape are left on her body ?? And they in turn ruin her life ??

I think even God has favored men somehow over here. Not proud of it at all.

I feel that things like length of clothes , drunkard males , safe states are just statistical detours good for debates and maybe presentations , but they will never find a SOLUTION.
I don't think drunk people think about laws when passed out in alcoholic intoxication. Seen a million of them. Dhananjay Chatterjee was hanged. Did it do any good?
Killing a rapist on the spot or burning a man who has poured acid on a gals face alive are not solutions. The time of Reformative theory is gone, its time again for the for the deterrent theory of punishment which advocates for tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye

They will die and maybe fear what they did in their last few moments of life. But it won't restore the girls' face and faith in themselves. I'd want them to live to teach others a lesson.

Have You have watched Aladdin cartoons as a kid ?? The genie once remarked: "Death is not the last pain. You'll be surprised what you can live through."

From personal experience (I am not a rapist but I suffered an incident that has put my life on a standstill), I suggest that the rapist be castrated. The guy who burnt the girl's face shud face the same end. In a very animal like language , I say: "Now , there are two people who suffer from the same trauma. The one who was actually wounded can find peace that even the man who changed her life is now suffering the exact same fate."

Just like when the DPS gals MMS case brought and blamed technology in the witness box. I recall reading a very interesting remark there:

"The negative manifestations of technology are never stored on a chip. They live inside the nerves that carry these impulses to our brain."

We need these foul ministers to represent us.

Middlemen agents to raise our voices.

I'll put a comedy in the midst. Hope you don't feel offended.

Americans have got hero in Spiderman.
We have soooo many gods to guide us like Hanu-man.

They realized that a superhero comes from within the society. He is not a God created in the sky. But we still need someone to break the glass door like filmy hero and save the girl. Pathetic thinking and stand taken by the "audience" thereand what we can change is not just the rapist's but also every male's attitude.

Its not done by asking - "What if this happened to your sister ??" etc etc.

Its done when people realize that a woman is not just a beautiful looking mass of flesh that is meant to be consumed. She is a person like you and me. Hence she deserves every right and freedom of choice that you and I enjoy.

We all know what will happens now, people will talk about dis for a week or two and will make it a huge issue , then they get adjusted to their day to day life...... leaving the girl and her family to suffer all alone and cope with dis for the rest of her life.... and the guys will easily be out on bail ............ This is the only thing which people can expect in India. Every mother will be making her girl understand to be more careful, like don't go out in the night, don't hang out late after this incident but no mother will make her son understand not to see any girl in that way.. and atleast start respecting girls.... 

Its not only that the government should take steps, we also have to do our bit. Its not at all that I am safe, my family is safe. I have nothing to do with this.Come out of the Rang de Basanti era and Enter the time of Gangajal Movie like revenge. Wake up now, if you see any such incident or any wrong, have guts to fight against it, even if the victim is not known to you, if can't fight inform the police at least or alert the surroundings. Do your bit, and try to make a change and don"t forget this incident and don"t adjust now please. Adjustment time is gone.

P.S.-  If you live in a free country and yet cannot leave it in any direction because those surrounding you are not free, then are you really free or in a prison with rights and liberty with no where to go? Think on this.
If my blunt comments have hurt anybody's sentiments please note these words were meant to challenge them, and pardon my language, but this kind of language is the need of the hour now.


Veena Bai!!!

Doesn't blank looks put people off?

Atleast I always thought so.

My belief has been repeatedly blown into smithereens during these so called prepartory holidays - by a person none other than our maid.

I pride myself on being an expert at reading expressions on faces – well, on expressive faces, at any rate. I can differentiate between a quizzical look and a blank look – the former I associate with a hunger to know more and the latter, with disinterest. I am sure it is a very logical conclusion any day, any time.

I never reckoned with that innate human desire to teach, preach and tell.

I grasped, quite late in the sequence of events, that my maid (let's call her the universal name – Veena Bai – though I feel that she won't ever read my blog, I can never be too sure. She's a kind of enlightened person, you know) equated my blank looks with incomprehension. Now, when I perform a post-mortem, I agree that is also a possible conclusion any one might draw but hey, this never occurred to me. Possibly because I am very vocal when I do not comprehend – actually I kick up a great deal of fuss.

So Veena Bai thought that I needed more information when I gave her a blank look when she was narrating about how Mrs. Sharma, who lives on the other side of the wall, fought with her mother-in-law in the street in front of the poor "thela-waala" selling vegetables.

Clearly wanting to oblige me, she put down her mop, which had dripped a considerable amount of water on the floor while she was talking, and sat on the floor, facing me. I observed, with a sense of foreboding that oh boy, she did mean to talk. She had hitched up her sari to her knees and made herself comfortable on the floor. I tried to show her how busy I was by pounding on my keyboard, but Veena Bai was unfazed. She's not for subtle hints, is our Veena Bai, even when the subtle hints make the very audible sound of keys being pounded at...

I have never mastered the art of conveying to people that I don't want to talk. Sure, I have been known to be blunt, bordering on being rude, many times but that works with real close friends only. Sometimes, finesse works with other sensitive people. What was I supposed to say to Veena Bai? She sure doesn't recognize finesse and I couldn't bear to tell her to get on with her work – after all, she's older than me and I have been brought up to respect all elders, despite their idiosyncrasies.

My non-committal grunts and nods seem to satisfy her, thank God. She is still happily perched on the floor, talking nineteen to a dozen. And I am apparently granting her a wonderful audience. I am making eye-contact every two minutes and saying things like, "Aur nahin toh kya! Aisa thodi karna chahiye?" and "Ajeeb log hote hai duniya mein!"

Poor thing, she is unaware that I am typing this while I am granting half-an-ear to her. I am simply not interested in why Mrs. Sharma threw a rolled-up blanket at her mother-in-law, who in turn, promptly threw a pillow at her. Gawd!

Uh, I am now aware of a lull in her monologue. Veena Bai is looking at me with a curious expression on her face. I am feeling pretty uncomfortable. Has she guessed something amiss?

"What story are you typing now?" she asks me. "Tell the story to me, beta."

Damn! No brilliant story comes to my mind. My own pathetic creations had sarcasm as a thick vein running through them and that's another thing Veena Bai doesn't recognize. She's a simple soul. Veena Bai is still looking at me with that expectant look on her face.

I throw caution to the winds and decide to settle with half the truth. In novels I've read that for people who have secrets to hide, this is a very successful approach. Let's see whether it actually works.

"Actually, Aunty," I clear my throat, "I am writing about Mrs. Sharma and her mother-in-law. I have obviously changed names but I found the incident very... interesting."

Ending # 1:

Veena Bai's eyes are twinkling with a simple pleasure. She says, very simply, "Please read it out to me. I want to know how you can weave a story out of something like this."

I want to crawl into a hole.


Veena Bai's eyes have widened. "Really!" she squeaks. "Then maybe you will like to hear the story of Mr.Saini too. You know what he did?"

I slowly shake my head and reflect that I'd soon find out. I open a new blank document and turn to Veena Bai with a dazzling but resigned smile. "What did he do?"

"Arrey, he drank a lot yesterday and he drove his car directly into Mr. Arora's wall. And you know what Mr. Arora said? He said.........."

I am still pounding at the keyboard and the mop is all dried up now. But Veena Bai's throat doesn't seem to dry up.

What Happened Actually------

Veena Bai beams at me in simple pleasure. She said, "Oh, that's nice. Did you include the part when Mrs. Sharma threw a blanket at her mother-in-law?"

I nod.

"What about the part when she slapped Mr. Sharma for bringing his mother home?"

I feel a warning prick at the back of my mind, but I ignore it.


"And what about the part when the mother-in-law threw Mrs. Sharma's suitcase out of the window? And what about Mrs. Sharma's departure forever to her parent's home?"

I don't think I managed to conceal my shock very well. If Mrs. Sharma was indeed going away forever, I was really disappointed. She makes lovely jalebis and she always remembered me when she made some.

I manage to stammer a "yes" again to Veena Bai.

Veena Bai got up, brushed her sari and said, "That's fine then, beta". She picked her mop and turned away, scrubbing the floor. I breathe a sigh of relief. It's finally over.

"Beta," she said over her shoulder, "next time you don't want to listen, just tell me. I won't talk. Do you really think that a person who makes lovely jalebis can slap her husband and be thrown out of her house by her own mother-in-law?"

I had no answer, and finally the audible sound of my keyboard becomes mute.

I told you, Veena Bai is an enlightened soul.


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

In His Eyes

IN HIS EYES, yes the title again is expressing a love or a break up post, but what else a heartbroken boy think of, and all my dear friends must be ready by this time with their shoes in their hand and might be ready to target my head. But please relax, you can postpone your target practice probably by the next time.

After having a bitter experience, all I am able to write is only about love, feelings and breakup, from which many of my friends are obsessed. So I wanted to write something else, though those love and breakup posts and poems are still filling the space of "My documents" folder in my laptop, but wanted to post something different here, so, I sat down at my laptop trying to write down something. I didn't know what should I write about, so I searched for "blog post tips" on Google.  I read some advices about to close your eyes and many thoughts will come up into your mind, but this didn't work too, so I decided to go for a walk with Bruzo "my dog"  may be some of the thoughts will come up to my mind.

I walked through the streets and while I was crossing a street, a strange thing happened; Bruzo didn't  want to move and then he began to run  back from where we came ,I couldn't control him till I found out that he was running towards this young poor boy.

I was shocked, I thought he is going to attack him but what happened is that he stood infront of him, and what really shocked me that he didn't react or get scared either, he just looked at him with no fear and they continued looking to each other for about 10 seconds as if there's some sort of conversation between them.

I felt sorry for him although he wasn't terrified; I decided to give him some money. While I was searching for coins in my pocket, the chinking sound of the coins made him move his eyes to look direct to mine.

So I tried to give him some coins, he refused and started to run away, I was surprised!

Next day while I was walking I found him begging in the street, I wondered why he didn't want my money, so I decided to follow him with curiosity. I found that he lives with two other kids in a room, which brought to my mind that he is in a much better situation than most of the beggars out there; at least he is not homeless. I decided to wait until they leave the room.

When they left I entered the room ,I knew it might be dangerous but I just had this curiosity to know more about this  person,  the room was somehow empty , there was one blue mattress and a shelf divided into three parts with these names on each part " Ali,  Aisha, Sara", Sara's and Aisha's parts were empty but Ali's had books and sweets cover, while I was searching for nothing specific I heard this angry voice "tum yahan kya kar rhe ho, chor" (what are you doing here thief) I was terrified, I turned around and saw that girl which I assumed she must be one of the kids living here.

I told her to calm down and explained that I'm not what she think, "what would I steal anyway "came through my mind, I thought of making a deal with her so I gave her some money and then I asked her about her name, she hesitated answering my question at first but then she answered "Aisha".

Since my first deal worked, I tried to take advantage of it and told her "let's make a deal, I am going to give you more money if you answered my questions, do you agree? " Her eyes widened full of happiness and she agreed immediately, I proceeded "let's first go have a meal in someplace because I'm starving" and smiled to her while she was smiling back happily.

We went to my scooter and then she started to look at everything on the way with astonishment. I drove to a nearby Dhaba, she ordered food for herself with lassi and she was eating fast as if am going ask her for some of it, after she has finished; she looked at me and asked "Well, what is your questions?"

" Ali", tell me more about him, she laughed and said "King Ali", I was about to ask her why you are calling him a ki...., she interrupted me by saying "he thinks himself a good boy he collects books and he doesn't know even how to read, he cries every time someone call him a beggar, I don't know what he wants people to call him ,he bring the covers of the sweets from the garbage and acts as if the teacher in his school gave them to her because she got a good marks in the class and he always thinks that one day his life is going to be like those in movies."

That was enough for me, I gave Aisha the money as promised, and then left her and remembered every time I looked to with disgust, and then I felt sorry for every kid I might have hurt before, what if we treat them good, what if I was him, while I was drowning in my thoughts; I heard a voice calling my name "King Ali".

I wasn't sleeping but I was dreaming I found out myself in front of a boy with a dog and ran to Aisha who called my name without taking the boy's money and I heard this boy saying" weird, he looked like a beggar" and then I knew that whatever you imagine my life is, your imagination won't lead to any change to mine because you have lots of good things in your life to care for, I know I can't be him, I just wanted to be in his eyes.


Friday, December 14, 2012

what my life is like without you...

what my life is like without you...
i wake up everyday thinking about the dream i just had about you and with the tears in my eyes.. wondering what it means that i still dream about you.
i pick up my phone everyday and dial your number... my hands tremble every time i reach for the call button..
i am frightened to know what you wont say when you answer, more than what you will say.

i still get butterflies in my stomach when i think about you..i still wait for that call that will never come..i still cry every time I think of you..still that promises revolve in my mind every time,whenever I sneeze I miss that”God Bless You”
i tried so hard to make myself hate you... to make it easier for me to forget you. all i did was made it harder on myself.. it made it harder for me to fall out of love with you, it made me fall in love with you more. its hard to deny myself of these feelings.. and i have no way to express them to you anymore.
i can't talk to you.. snuggle with you.. cry with you.. dream with you.. make love to you.. feel your warmth.. hear your voice.. feel your touch.. take care of you when you don't feel well..
you were my strength. my backbone. my life. you were everything i ever wanted in a woman and more..
i let that slip away. i let myself think i deserved less then what you were giving me.. and i knew that you always deserved more then everything i ever gave you... and everything i wanted to give you.
i wanted to be the father of your children and yet i felt like i never could give you that dream. and it wasn't just a dream of yours.. it was a dream of ours. to have a nursery painted blue with our beautiful baby boy sleeping soundly in his crib..i still remember the name you use to call would have been a blessing to have your baby.. to make you the mother you always dreamed to be.. and to be the perfect family i knew we would have been.
i lost the one thing i thought i would have forever...
i lost my best friend. the one with whom i shared all my secrets and my dreams... the one who helped me reach towards my dreams...

I go to bed in night still thinking of you, keeping my cell near me waiting for that good night text..but I am strong enough that finally I cry myself to sleep
my life was amazing with you... and without you... my life is nothing

Thursday, December 13, 2012


COMPROMISE such a big word and why not it had to adjust a lot of letters to ensure it got some meaning. It must have got inspired by our governments who shake hands in any direction with all ideologies to ensure that they sit on the right side of the speaker. Compromise is omnipresent. It is present in plenty.
Everyone has to compromise at various important junctures of their life. When a child is born, The child's toys are always given to him based on the next best alternative available needless to say we start with "the best" and initiate the process of applying the next best till we reach the most economical and declare to the child that nothing's best than this. The child cries but accepts, compromise is a big word and encompasses the child too in its domain.
The child grows and hits the circumference of his adolescence. Takes his heavy school bag with the same heaviness feeling in the heart to a school he was reluctant to join as his best friend, that dimpled pink chin Pinky, was going in "that" school. Throughout his adolescence adventures he will have to have the next best girls or boys as compared to "that" school.  He will try his best to make the most of the resources available but his heart will always swell at the compromise his parents made at his expense. The seed of discontent will spread its roots in all direction and he will look for solace in everyone except his parents.
The fruit ripens and the child enters the free world through the college gate. Suddenly the canvas of life becomes so big and millions of opportunities beckon upon him. He goes for an opportunity named "the cute smiling girl" though she hardly smiles and is on the wrong side of cute, hence whenever she blesses the world with her smile its construed to be "cute". The love birds throw cautions to the wind and float in the merry currents of  buoyant air till it looses its thrust and brings them down face down to the surface. He fell in love with a girl, whom he thinks is perfect for him. For a while he thinks that at last compromise have taken a break, but the girl for whom he is everything, falls in love with another guy. Ah! It again started. He again compromised himself for the happiness of that girl. He now wishes to forgot that earlier compromise by looking for another perfect girl.
But things not get over here. The "mummy" and "papa" have known that their dear child is doing a mistake. A large set of people (called family by outer stretches of imagination) cluster into a small room to advise (read brainwash) the child. He is asked his opinion and kept on being asked till he concurs. No "next best" will do for him as the girl has to come in the family, only best will be required.  The child as has become habitual, compromises and marries "that" girl as the only best thing. Everyone celebrates but for the child whose heart is still heavy (the school bag hangs large on his heart). Poor child had thought freedom meant the power of "choice" never realized it meant the power to say "yes" when you have to say "no". And the child is now part of a big happy family only he being unhappy.
The next rounds of compromises and no doubt they are of perpetual nature start as he starts settling down in the family finally. The dreams land on the earth of reality. The wife lays down "n" number of options for him to agree with her. Being a family now he again starts compromising for them by reducing the expenditures he used to do on his hobbies Whatever he chooses he has to agree to disagree. He has to maintain a balance (Read Compromise) between parents and his wife so that both the parties remain happy and fulfilled. Compensation for a compromise was huge this time, with the same heavy heart (school bag is a constant companion!).
To conclude, no matter which phase of your life you are going through or where you are compromise is as essential as fresh air. Learn to live with it as you can't live without it. See you have compromised. Compromise a little bit more by commenting on this post.