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People write diaries. Their diaries describe their personality. I write on my blog. It describes me way too well. :D
My writing takes me places my mind never wanted to go
Everyone writes. From the ink of their thoughts, by the pen of their mind on the page of their face. Everyone writes.I love to write. It is a passion; a compulsion; something that gives me an avenue to express myself. I write when I am happy; when I am sad or when an issue touches my heart. I find inspiration to write in every aspect of life.
This blog is dedicated to anything and everything that fills my thoughts and occupies cranial space

Thursday, November 22, 2012

A Thing Called Love

Its been three and a half months now till the relationship status of the subject of my last post being changed to single from being in a happy relationship. But still he thinks that he have to figure out what this thing "Love" means and why mostly the aftermaths of it is getting hurt. The various people he talked to including his ex girlfriend, all advised him to move on. He says I am trying, but thinks in his mind that its not that easy to move on. But at least, he thanks God for making him know who are his friends and who are supporting him. Some people he used to call friends just didn't cared and some he was thinking are just friends, cared more then enough.

 Some people(don't want to name them) just said that all what he is doing is a drama, and he didn't loved that girl and was only in a habit of that girl. He was even blamed of many things ehich he even can't think of, doing them is a different thing. Firstly he wanted to explain himself, he wrote a very big message and when he was about to send that message to that person, a message of a good friend of him came and that friend advised him not to explain yourself anymore to anyone and to leave things on God.

What he cares more for the fact is that how things changed for him, how people changed, how their priorities changed, how the list of things they wanted most in their life changed, but still he is keeping a happy face in the front of the world, so that if the world has deceived him once, now he can deceive the world. He sometimes thinks that everything he has done for his partner in his relationship, which according to his partner are more then any true lover can do are now just the things anybody can do according to her. He still remembers the wordings of her, when she said that "nobody can do, what you have done for me", he even remembers her latest saying that "you have done nothing". He also remembers when she use to say that "time pass relation is a word that don't even suits you and nobody can love me as much as you do", with this he also remembers that "you was in a time pass relation with me". He also remembers the day of the breakup, when she said it was all her mistake, with this the most famous dialogue of every break up that she didn't deserve him, with this he also remembers what she said after few days of breakup that he didn't deserved her. He also remembers when she use to say that he is perfect for her and have all the qualities she wanted in her life partner, this dialogue of her made him happy every time he remembers it till the time when she said she was adjusting with him, having nothing in common, and now she can't adjust anymore.

The list of the things he remembers is long which will fill many pages of this post, but even then many things will be left unsaid. He is now amazed of the fact that if he says anything about that girl, then he is harming her reputation, but if the same thing or even worse then that, is said by her boyfriend, then that is out of his true love. The present boyfriend of her used to put statuses and pictures for her on fb when he was in relation with the subject, when he objected and insisted to talk with him, she said no need to talk to him if he trusts her and will resolve the matter by herself, but now when the subject of my post says something she always tells the present boyfriend to do the talking with him. She used to say that I don't care whatever anyone use to post about her, she only belongs to him.

Now what he wants to know why all this is done to him by her? Why she has became blind that she can't see the reality? Why she is doing all this to a man whose only mistake was loving her and trusting her blindly? Why can't she use some of her own mind and realize who was right who was wrong. All he wants to know is that if a man has forgiven her even of swearing of him falsely and doing this to her, doesn't he deserve to know what the truth is and can at least know that it was not his mistake, which can help him somewhat in living the rest of the few days of his life with some relaxation.

But he also know that he will not get any of the answer from her and have to live like this.

P.S.- Thanks a lot to all the friends who came up, and showed the meaning of word friend to him. Specially that line helped a lot 'Stop trying to hit me, and hit me'
Surely he will overcome all this very soon


Friday, November 09, 2012

Whom Should I Talk To??

There was a girl in my life.  Ahnnnn I am wrong she is still in my life, the only difference is I am not in her life anymore. She loved me a lot, I also loved her a lot, even now I love her but she don’t. It was she who taught me how to love someone so deeply, it was she who taught me how to trust someone blindly, it was she who taught me how beautiful your life can be when you are in love.

The only thing she demanded in return was me by her side always. She used to say that she can’t live without me. We were very happy with each other. We had planned our whole life living with each other…. But as it’s said that you can’t remain happy forever, the things then changed for me also, I who was her everybody, became nobody in less than a month. All the love we had shared in a year, all the trust we had on each other, all the promises we had with each other came to an end just in a flash of a second.

She fell in love with another guy, who was her best friend, a friend of her with whom I always had a problem when she talks to him, but I allowed it for her happiness. That’s the only thing in my life I don’t want to hear from her, just came to me like the sandy cyclone. Its been three months now when I came to know about this truth, but even today I remember every word exactly the way she said to me regarding her best friend. She apologized to me, said that she don’t want to leave me, and will stop talking with her best friend and will break all the relations with him. Later I came to know that her best friend also knows all this from more than a week, and it was me only who was unaware of all this. From few days before this sandy, I had an intuition that something is not right, I asked her, she sweared to me that nothing is wrong. But after some days I came to know that nothing was right.

That day I said to her ok you go to her if you love her, she refused and I insisted. I promised her that you go with him, I will be all right, will marry a girl of my parents choice and will be happy. I knew that after sharing your life with somebody whom you are in love its impossible. But for her happiness I lied to her and even promised her of marrying. On that day I promised myself that for her happiness I will marry. She agreed and went with him.

Some days later I realized that its not possible for me to marry now because I trusted her fully, and after this I cant trust anybody else. So I called her and said sorry for the promise but I will not marry now. She cut the call and narrated the whole matter to her love, he called me saying that I am torturing her and should not call her again. I said after what you did to my relation now how can you say that. He said that he haven’t done anything wrong  I called her and put the call on conference, but I was amazed she lied on my mouth and proved me wrong. After that I said that not before but now you have broken my trust and talked bad with her, and from this she concluded I didn’t loved her, I was just in a time pass relation with her.

These all were the words of his lover who made her think so. After giving my 100%, suffered many things just for her happiness which even if she was in my place never allowed me, I got this tag. Now it’s the time she don’t pick my calls and not even replies to my texts. Its been 3 months and I am crying daily, just want to talk to her, just want to hear her saying, how are you, but then I realize the things have changed now I am nobody to her, but just a bastard (pardon my language) who have wasted her life. Thanks a lot to man who have implanted these thoughts in her mind and who have ruined my relation. Daily I control my crying by saying to myself that nobody cares now. I am nobody now and died for her, but still I am waiting for message, for her call and I know that will never come.

Now with whom should I talk to??  I even said her many bad things but that didn’t helped either, talked with some of my best friends but they are bored with my talks now. What now I found is that I am alone in a crowded world. Will I be normal again ever in my life?  Will I be able to live a single day of my life without her thoughts coming in my mind when I am unable to spend even a minute? Please help

PS- To all my family members reading this, please don’t take it seriously. These are just thoughts of mine, nothing else. All else please help the guy ;)
And if you (the one very special for whom this is written) are reading this Please talk to me once. I am not that bad really.
Leaving you all with a beautiful poem which fits this situation

Still Can't Understand, What Went Wrong

When we met, was it right or wrong
Why at this point of time we are not along
Being with you was the best part of my life,
But now you seem to be out of my sight.

You don't know how much i remember you,
But at times i think is the same also with you.
Why god made us fall for each other,
when there was no future set for us together.

You know i loved you and forever i will do,
but then i think is this the same also with you.
you find someone else and forgot me,
and this love that made "you" and "me", "we"

Now when i am all alone, i always think about you,
Recalling old memories is the only thing that i can do.
Now i know the time which left will never come back,
But there is hope in my heart which i think will never lack.

may be its destiny and we were not made for each other,
but i will not be able to erase you from my heart either.
I wish time to heal everything,
your thoughts, your memories, there will be nothing !!