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People write diaries. Their diaries describe their personality. I write on my blog. It describes me way too well. :D
My writing takes me places my mind never wanted to go
Everyone writes. From the ink of their thoughts, by the pen of their mind on the page of their face. Everyone writes.I love to write. It is a passion; a compulsion; something that gives me an avenue to express myself. I write when I am happy; when I am sad or when an issue touches my heart. I find inspiration to write in every aspect of life.
This blog is dedicated to anything and everything that fills my thoughts and occupies cranial space

Friday, November 09, 2012

Whom Should I Talk To??



There was a girl in my life.  Ahnnnn I am wrong she is still in my life, the only difference is I am not in her life anymore. She loved me a lot, I also loved her a lot, even now I love her but she don’t. It was she who taught me how to love someone so deeply, it was she who taught me how to trust someone blindly, it was she who taught me how beautiful your life can be when you are in love.

The only thing she demanded in return was me by her side always. She used to say that she can’t live without me. We were very happy with each other. We had planned our whole life living with each other…. But as it’s said that you can’t remain happy forever, the things then changed for me also, I who was her everybody, became nobody in less than a month. All the love we had shared in a year, all the trust we had on each other, all the promises we had with each other came to an end just in a flash of a second.

She fell in love with another guy, who was her best friend, a friend of her with whom I always had a problem when she talks to him, but I allowed it for her happiness. That’s the only thing in my life I don’t want to hear from her, just came to me like the sandy cyclone. Its been three months now when I came to know about this truth, but even today I remember every word exactly the way she said to me regarding her best friend. She apologized to me, said that she don’t want to leave me, and will stop talking with her best friend and will break all the relations with him. Later I came to know that her best friend also knows all this from more than a week, and it was me only who was unaware of all this. From few days before this sandy, I had an intuition that something is not right, I asked her, she sweared to me that nothing is wrong. But after some days I came to know that nothing was right.

That day I said to her ok you go to her if you love her, she refused and I insisted. I promised her that you go with him, I will be all right, will marry a girl of my parents choice and will be happy. I knew that after sharing your life with somebody whom you are in love its impossible. But for her happiness I lied to her and even promised her of marrying. On that day I promised myself that for her happiness I will marry. She agreed and went with him.

Some days later I realized that its not possible for me to marry now because I trusted her fully, and after this I cant trust anybody else. So I called her and said sorry for the promise but I will not marry now. She cut the call and narrated the whole matter to her love, he called me saying that I am torturing her and should not call her again. I said after what you did to my relation now how can you say that. He said that he haven’t done anything wrong  I called her and put the call on conference, but I was amazed she lied on my mouth and proved me wrong. After that I said that not before but now you have broken my trust and talked bad with her, and from this she concluded I didn’t loved her, I was just in a time pass relation with her.

These all were the words of his lover who made her think so. After giving my 100%, suffered many things just for her happiness which even if she was in my place never allowed me, I got this tag. Now it’s the time she don’t pick my calls and not even replies to my texts. Its been 3 months and I am crying daily, just want to talk to her, just want to hear her saying, how are you, but then I realize the things have changed now I am nobody to her, but just a bastard (pardon my language) who have wasted her life. Thanks a lot to man who have implanted these thoughts in her mind and who have ruined my relation. Daily I control my crying by saying to myself that nobody cares now. I am nobody now and died for her, but still I am waiting for message, for her call and I know that will never come.

Now with whom should I talk to??  I even said her many bad things but that didn’t helped either, talked with some of my best friends but they are bored with my talks now. What now I found is that I am alone in a crowded world. Will I be normal again ever in my life?  Will I be able to live a single day of my life without her thoughts coming in my mind when I am unable to spend even a minute? Please help

PS- To all my family members reading this, please don’t take it seriously. These are just thoughts of mine, nothing else. All else please help the guy ;)
And if you (the one very special for whom this is written) are reading this Please talk to me once. I am not that bad really.
Leaving you all with a beautiful poem which fits this situation


Still Can't Understand, What Went Wrong

When we met, was it right or wrong
Why at this point of time we are not along
Being with you was the best part of my life,
But now you seem to be out of my sight.

You don't know how much i remember you,
But at times i think is the same also with you.
Why god made us fall for each other,
when there was no future set for us together.

You know i loved you and forever i will do,
but then i think is this the same also with you.
you find someone else and forgot me,
and this love that made "you" and "me", "we"

Now when i am all alone, i always think about you,
Recalling old memories is the only thing that i can do.
Now i know the time which left will never come back,
But there is hope in my heart which i think will never lack.

may be its destiny and we were not made for each other,
but i will not be able to erase you from my heart either.
I wish time to heal everything,
your thoughts, your memories, there will be nothing !!


Thanks

8 comments:

  1. That's the most important lesson of life one have to learn
    I can very well imagine your pain as I am also going through this from last 1 year
    still searching the answers of questions left unanswered
    from my experience I can only say its all 21st century love, one is in love with you till you are of any use to them, once someone else come who can fulfill their desire you are gone
    sorry for leaving a huge comment, but my story was very much similar to yours and it revived me my memories of the past.

    Raman
    (A person still in search of answers)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @raman- sorry to say but initially I didn't agreed with you
      but after realizing some things in the past I totally agree with you
      you even get the tags which you cant think of even forget about doing them
      but the life must move on may be we both should be able to overcome all this very soon or may be it should take our whole life
      till yesterday I was also living in lies, yesterday I came to know about the truth and its more painful even
      I now realize living in lies is more easy
      thanks for dropping by

      Delete
    2. A post written by Heart and not by brain, which makes it pretend like more of a real life experience
      I don't know what happened in the above mentioned story, but whats happening in todays world you can assume that relations are only for a specified time till one finds someone better.
      the tags you said was given are just that they want excuses to justify their cheating and betraying.
      because if someone has any problem with his/her partner then you can clarify it or leave the relation but cheating not at all justify these tags and it is a sin if you are in a serious relation
      all what I can suggest is leave everything to God don't go after explaining your innocence.
      as said in the post that someone else have implanted these thoughts and it is obvious that he have also said many lies about you to impress her so your explanation will not be of any help, just go with the flow and see that girl will realize one day who was true, she might be blind now, but when truth will be unfolded her eyes will open
      one last thing wish the girl best of luck because if the boy has convinced her by saying lies about you, then according to the dictionary of love, its not love
      P.S. don't know if it is a true story or a work of fiction, but it felt like that it has been written by a pure loving heart on the verge of bursting out

      Monica Chandel

      Delete
    3. Thanks a lot Monica
      Yup you are right he has lied about me a lot I haven't talked to him and he told many bad things to her and said that I told him that....
      and according to her if those things I have told then I was in a time pass relation and if he told then its more then true love
      ok will not explain to her but will wait for her msg or call forever....

      Delete
  2. For God Sake Stop explaining yourself
    As you Said After narrating the whole story to you she said she refused to end up the relation with you means she knows you truly loved her and she had done wrong
    Whatever she said afterwards clearly shows that she want some excuses as told by Monica
    I know no time pass relation allows this that even after cheating you say her to go with the one she loves, but you did so
    you are not answerable to her whatever she says is the product of her new bfs mind
    don't feel like this, you trusted her blindly, it was her choice to prove you right but she didn't. you gave your full
    You are answerable to God and only God
    and one thing I came to learn from this is trust and love somebody after due care because it hurts a lot if broken
    and you cant forgive that person because forgiveness is given when mistakes are made not when your trust is broken
    tc nyc post just wish its not your true story as you said it in your Post Script

    Himanshu

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks a lot Himanshu for dropping by
      Now I think I have yet to figure out what this word 'love' means.
      the definition of this word, which I was thinking was completely wrong, but sometimes I feel that my definition was right and no need to change it
      because love is only there, where there is blind trust
      without trust no love
      and no this is a work of fiction only and not a real life experience
      these type of true lovers doesn't exists nowadays :)

      Delete
  3. Give, but don't allow yourself to be used. Love, but don't allow your heart to be abused. Trust, but don't be naive. Listen to others, but don't lose your own voice.

    A Heartbroken Lover

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry Heartbroken lover I don't agree with you
      you give your 100% when you are in love whether its trust or anything else
      if there is a limit prescribed in giving, loving or trusting, then I am sorry I have to say its not love, but an agreement, because conditions are only in the agreements
      plus we cant say that don't love, you might get hurt
      then why are we living, we might die some day
      getting hurt is not sure, but dying is sure so why are we not quitting living
      very sorry to disagree with your point
      thanks for dropping by

      Delete

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