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People write diaries. Their diaries describe their personality. I write on my blog. It describes me way too well. :D
My writing takes me places my mind never wanted to go
Everyone writes. From the ink of their thoughts, by the pen of their mind on the page of their face. Everyone writes.I love to write. It is a passion; a compulsion; something that gives me an avenue to express myself. I write when I am happy; when I am sad or when an issue touches my heart. I find inspiration to write in every aspect of life.
This blog is dedicated to anything and everything that fills my thoughts and occupies cranial space

Friday, December 14, 2012

what my life is like without you...

what my life is like without you...
i wake up everyday thinking about the dream i just had about you and with the tears in my eyes.. wondering what it means that i still dream about you.
i pick up my phone everyday and dial your number... my hands tremble every time i reach for the call button..
i am frightened to know what you wont say when you answer, more than what you will say.

i still get butterflies in my stomach when i think about you..i still wait for that call that will never come..i still cry every time I think of you..still that promises revolve in my mind every time,whenever I sneeze I miss that”God Bless You”
i tried so hard to make myself hate you... to make it easier for me to forget you. all i did was made it harder on myself.. it made it harder for me to fall out of love with you, it made me fall in love with you more. its hard to deny myself of these feelings.. and i have no way to express them to you anymore.
i can't talk to you.. snuggle with you.. cry with you.. dream with you.. make love to you.. feel your warmth.. hear your voice.. feel your touch.. take care of you when you don't feel well..
you were my strength. my backbone. my life. you were everything i ever wanted in a woman and more..
i let that slip away. i let myself think i deserved less then what you were giving me.. and i knew that you always deserved more then everything i ever gave you... and everything i wanted to give you.
i wanted to be the father of your children and yet i felt like i never could give you that dream. and it wasn't just a dream of yours.. it was a dream of ours. to have a nursery painted blue with our beautiful baby boy sleeping soundly in his crib..i still remember the name you use to call him..it would have been a blessing to have your baby.. to make you the mother you always dreamed to be.. and to be the perfect family i knew we would have been.
i lost the one thing i thought i would have forever...
i lost my best friend. the one with whom i shared all my secrets and my dreams... the one who helped me reach towards my dreams...

I go to bed in night still thinking of you, keeping my cell near me waiting for that good night text..but I am strong enough that finally I cry myself to sleep
my life was amazing with you... and without you... my life is nothing


10 comments:

  1. Oops. Every single word was so touching.Thanks for sharing!

    Regards
    Village Girl

    ReplyDelete
  2. stunned after reading this
    dont know what to to say
    speechless
    a heart wrenching post
    had tears in eyes after reading this
    my past which i had forgotten long ago came into front of my eyes......
    every line every word left a deep impact
    specially whenever i sneeze i miss god bless you
    it cant be more perfect
    cheers:-)
    Raman Taneja

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks a lot Mr. Raman
      And very sorry didnt wanted to make you cry or remember that dark days
      really very sorry...

      Delete
  3. Amazing post
    Kudos
    will leave tears in the eyes of every true lover whose love has left or deceived
    a lot of emotions and a pure heart are required for this kind of post
    ur gf or wife will be very lucky to have a lover like you
    waiting for another hit

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks a lot Mr. Aman
      its a great compliment to hear from somebody
      never imagined my words have so much power
      dont know who will be lucky, right now i am the unlucky one:)
      Thanks for dropping by

      Delete
  4. I so agree with Aman.
    And that is needed to be realized, that the woman any such man ends up having will be Very Lucky.
    And if even 0.0001% of this post is you, you know you are dead!!!!

    Very well written. Touching.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ..... a lot Janhvi
      someone had the unluckiest time with me, is now very lucky:)

      Delete
  5. wow
    words leaving a deep impact
    thats the power of writting
    saying a lot in few words or saying everything in a few words....
    have everything in the post a touch of love, feelings, memories, promises, dreams
    gr8 wrk

    rohan

    ReplyDelete

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So let me know also, by leaving a comment so that i can pat myself on my back....;)